Yes, this is Skoffin blatantly ripping off Teksura's idea of use for a user page. Do I care? No. So if you mention it I won't be listening. Now I'm not as eloquent with words as he is and perhaps a bit more seething with hatred for my fellow man, but hopefully some of you will read the following entries and learn to stop doing the same old shenanigans over again and thus make me hate you a tad less.
Rant 4: How many Stupids did you count today
There are many stupids rampant on EM lately, but here I will point out just a few that have bothered me lately.
He saw my visit so he must be real
Say someone posts a tracker report on someone visiting them; say the tracked person happens to be BG. Now that BG, seeing this report and it happens to be correct, now assumes that tracker claim must be legit no matter what other roles are in the game or whether or not another player has a good case presented. Something similar happened in a game recently, the watcher has been janned N2 when the drunk claimed D1 and then the mafia fakes a watcher report D2 after the BG has claimed. The BG then claims that the watcher ‘has been verified’ when it is in no way shape or form. Honestly, why do I even need to point out how this is logic fail? When a pr claims D1 and everyone agrees that both the watcher and BG should be on them and then the BG claims D2, how is it going to be impossible for mafia to guess where the BG went? I’m tired of idiots assuming that if someone reports on them visiting and happening to be correct that it means they are without a shadow of a doubt clear. Yes it may be unlikely for someone to guess correctly, but it is in no way impossible.
You claimed last; Die scum
Any game where there is a counter claim I’ll wager someone will bring up the fact that someone claimed last as part of their reason for suspecting them. Even if the timeframe between those claims is a mere second there will still be some idiot that thinks claiming last is a sign of someone being scummy. The fact that someone happened to be the last to claim a particular role is hardly relevant unless there is other circumstances to do with it. But if someone asks for BP’s to claim and 4 people then say they are BP then that does not make number 4 the sure scum. What’s worse, however, is when you have a mafia caught who then decides to claim a PR in order to role fish and people refuse to lynch until a cc steps forward, who then go on to lynch the cc. Which leads onto my next point
We know he’s scum, but please out yourself anyway
Typically when a mafia is caught out, mostly by reports, they will claim to be a PR of some sort to either save them or to role fish for their mafia buddies. Now no matter how you look at it, the report says this person has to be scum, however some townie will still require a cc before they will lynch them. Why though? Who knows, it’s bloody stupid either way. If you have fool proof evidence that someone is mafia then there is no bloody reason for anyone to cc I, and yet some idiot will always come along to screw up the town win. Take this example, the tracker posts a report on player visiting the dead guy. Player then claims to be BG, except how can that be? The tracker cannot be dead so the report is real and the BG would have saved or died if visiting the dead guy, so player has to be fake. Except until someone cc’s the BG claim then someone is still going to refuse to vote, citing ‘No cc’s, BG must be real!’ despite the fake that it is simply not possible. Some idiot will continue stalling the game until the real BG, who stayed in hiding because they assumed the townies would see how it was logically impossible for player to be real, reluctantly has to claim. The game will get more joyous from there, as in that example I mention, I was the BG and despite the report and me explaining why I didn’t claim for so long, I ended up being lynched for ‘claiming so late’. Goddamn, if there is no reason for someone to claim then don’t bloody stuff around until they do, and it would be very helpful if people would stop being such morons.
Let’s all give in at the drop of a hat
I’ve lost count of the number of times someone has faked a report and my idiot mafia partner has just given themselves up without a fight. My favourite example of this is when they knew the cop was hooked but they outed themselves anyway because the cop reported on them (This cop was the crafty Joole, doing his infamous reaction testing) another example would be a partner giving up after a maf report on them…when they were the bloody godfather. Here is a rule of thumb, fight to the bitter end no matter what is thrown at you. There is always a slim chance that you will be saved, either by good reasoning, town stupidity, or sheer dumb luck. What especially astounds me is when people give up when there is a janitor, yak in the setup. If someone reports on you in such a setup you don’t just give in, you bloody argue that they are yakked or the janitor. If you simply give up it shows what a fail player you really are and is just another reason why you should get off this site and go die in a fire.
I hate each and every one of you and blame you for the demise of EM. Do us a favour, take your head out of your arse and pay attention to the damn game. If you can’t do this then throw your computer out the window.
Let's all go to the lobby and crack some nub skulls --Skoffin 02:59, 22 September 2009 (UTC)
Alright... so... I've had a REALLY interesting couple of nights, and I've decided to share them... poor bastards. Last night, being Monday morning, I was online with a bunch of really epic people. OTB was online and we lynched like... three newbies SIMPLY based on the fact that it was about five oldies in a room and she died first night, which absolutely no oldie does anymore unless they're a jerkoff. Fortunately, this allowed for much laughter and much hatred of idiotic newbies that took away the preciousness that was OTB. Still... funny.
Anyway... in the past three days, I have seen more oldies than I can remember seeing in like... the past six months since all of them seemed to retreat into hiding. It's been a fascinating experience to talk to all these strange people who crawl out from under rocks with the intention of kicking your shin for spitting in their eye three months ago, when you can barely even remember yesterday's morning because you've been working the night shift and you're so tired that you can't see straight - trust me, it's fun. A few of these people also came around - funny - and further made my existance one of happiness and amsuement. People throwing things at me, especially flaming things of awfulness, makes me very happy.
Now, however, we get to the more epic moments. As any oldie knows, in the presence of oldies and good friends, a game is pretty much a game only to the point where you can chat with your mates and occasionally lynch them for attempting to take out their murderous rage on your or vice versa. Games are sad when friends must lynch friends. Still... it's just an oldie rule and those who don't follow this general rule of thumb have a tendency to be doomed to lonely assholeishness for the rest of their existance. Today, ladies and gentlemen... we discuss one of these doomed bastards.
I was in a game with Skoffin and some Nervo person who I've honestly never met before but who was quite amazing and epic, and by some complete and utter freak chance of luck, the three of us got placed together as mafia. Naturally, when town meetings came around, we were a special shade of useless that's only ever painted on top of other special shades of awful to make them a little bit more bearable... meaning that we were essentially good little mafia that did shit all to help town and instead bantered and pissed everyone off - it was fun and very conductive to our cause. This led to me being investigated, so I was lynched - sadness.
While in the graveyard, I was an even MORE special shade of useless, and the next day Nervo was also lynched, and along with cop, watcher, hunter and a few other useless gits, we were yelling and saying and doing stuipd things. Sitting in the graveyard is pretty much the same thing as like... sitting in the peanut gallery of a circus and attempting to coax the tiger to eat its trainer's head... not really conductive but far more amusing than watching grass grow or painting another shade of useless on another shade of awful. Still, when it came down to the last day, Skoffin was being a complete amazing pillock of sweetness and pulled out a miraculous win because town failed in new and splendid ways... we danced and ate and were merry.
Unfortunately for my little party of awesomess, the very next game I joined, I was informed quite rudely and without presedence to shut my fucking mouth because I was an idiot and assorted other nasty comments of not-niceness. I suppose that the person was in the last game (although I can admit with a decent amount of sincerity that I didn't even notice them), and proceeded to bitch me out for about three minutes in a pregame. Tradionally, I don't ignore idiots well, and it turned out that this chit wasn't much of an exception to this rule. When the iron knuckles were pulled out, I licked them and poured syrup on her head. She wasn't happy. It made my day.
Well, anyway, that game didn't take off, so we went to a different game instead and that one went off swimmingly and I got to pull out my stalking goggles. The first day was boring, but when night arrived and I got to see my partner... WELL, GUESS WHO IT WAS?! Anyway... I tried to come up with an epic battle plan of how we both fucking hate each other's viscera and how we would crossframe and pull suspicion away from the other one. She agreed and we decided to kill some random idiot. It was happy. The next day, she posted our mafia meeting in the town meeting and outed us both, just to fuck me over. Fortunately, the game was unranked and someone suicided... SO, we lynched the bitch and then the two hunters voted each other and shot one another so I could win because my partner was an asshole.
Those two people now have very special places in my cold, dead little heart. However... in one of my little conversations with said bitchy little lonely bastard of assholeishness, she said that the reason she loathed me was because I talked to my friends during the game instead of playing. Yes... because, ladies and gentlemen, as MAFIA, I wasn't being conductive to the town meetings. This wasn't a game to fake, this wasn't a game to play some deep, dark move that only us oldies know to fuck over the newbies. No, the point was to goddamned play the game without insulting people you've only met once and perhaps getting to know some of the more decent players before randomly declaring ever-lasting hatred and outing mafia meetings in the next game because you're a fucktard.
...I detest prepubescant boys with too much time and not enough brain cells to spare between their developing bits and their ickle rages. (If you happen to be one of the rare specimens of awesome prepubescant boyishness on EM, do forgive me.)
THINK. BEFORE. YOU. TALK. And don't hate people based on one experience, it's about the stupidest thing you can do.
JOY FOR PROVERBS BEING DELIVERED AT EIGHT AM WHEN I'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT.
((Do not judge me, this was written on very little sleep for the enjoyment of Skoffin and myself.))
-- With as much hatred as I can muster at this time of the morning/evening, Bligy <3
P.S Skoffin is a mor-anne.